


If You'll Have Me

by brianaa_c



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, it's 1 am and I wrote this pls enjoy, possibly spoilers if u haven't watched all tv spots/trailers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-15
Updated: 2019-12-15
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:55:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21797962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brianaa_c/pseuds/brianaa_c
Summary: Rey backs into him, her backside colliding with his chest, and she whirls around in shock to face him. Her mouth instantly opens to explain her presence in his quarters, but words are quickly escaping her.She can't see his eyes behind the mask, but she can feel them narrow at her. "I guess it's time to get new security," he says passively, his faux tone of boredom evident even through the electronic cloak. "Since they clearly can't do their job."TL;DR: the inappropriately-timed smut that no one asked for.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 9
Kudos: 435





	If You'll Have Me

**Author's Note:**

> University finals are over for me, and I am quickly running out of ways to bide my time before watching the Rise of Skywalker about 800 times. So, here's some smut. Enjoy!

"We only have ten minutes. Holocron or not, _ten_ minutes. Our informant tells us they shift patrols every ten minutes. We can't risk leaving any more Stormtrooper bodies behind." 

Rey nods at Poe's words. They're currently walking down some hallway on a new First Order ship, hunting for a holocron that somehow fell into Ben's hands. The resistance has been after it - and any artifact that could hold the secret on how to win the war, really - for years now, but as always, the First Order was a step ahead. 

"Are we sure it's even here?" Finn asks them in a pointed whisper, continuing down the hall, blaster at the ready. He hated being back within the grip of the First Order, Rey could tell, and her heart went out to him. "How do we even know?"

Poe shrugs and turns to Rey, who only stares back blankly. They have yet to know about anything that transpired between her and Ben through the Force when she was on Ahch-To, and they definitely don't know about how Ben took her to Snoke and killed him for her. Even a year later, the memory of him offering her everything was still too raw. Like a wound that never has a chance of healing. "I just... I feel it," she settles on, picking up the pace. Nine minutes now.

It's not long before she _actually_ feels its presence. It's dark, and haunting, and all-consuming. A shiver runs down her spine. With Ben, it wasn't complete darkness. There was conflict within him. The light seeping out from the cracks. But this... this device was different. This was evil.

"I know where it is," she suddenly says, turning to her friends. "But I have to go alone."

Finn's eyes practically bulge out of his head by how wide they are. "Are you kidding?" He hisses at her, stepping closer. "I thought we decided not to do this alone." 

She takes a breath. "Kylo Ren is on this ship. I can feel it," she tells him. Which is true, he should be here _somewhere_ , but she's trying not to think about it. If he senses her presence and takes a glance inside her mind as to what she's doing, it's game over. "I'd rather him run into just me. That way, I can serve as a distraction if need be."

"Rey, I don't think-"

"No time, Finn," Poe cuts him off, reaching out to put a hand on Rey's shoulder. "We trust you to get it done. Now, _go_. Eight minutes." 

Rey doesn't take a second look at them before scurrying off, allowing the Force to show her the way to the device. It pulls her and pushes her down various hallways until she reaches a nicer set of doors. But stormtroopers are guarding the door, and she has to formulate a plan. _Shoot one, stab the other_. 

With a deep breath, she sneaks her hand around the corner she's hiding behind, trusting the Force to guide the blast. She fires, and instantly, she hears a voice cry out in pain before falling to the floor. _Hit_. 

She ignites the lightsaber as she rounds the corner, the stormtrooper left alive still reeling. "Sorry, only business," she explains hastily, shoving her lightsaber through his stomach. The stormtrooper dies quickly. 

Once the coast is clear, she steps to the door, but it doesn't slide open. Something beeps, and she looks to the wall, noticing a keypad. "Fuck," she breathes, stepping towards it. She thinks she knows who's room this is, and knows without a doubt that if she guesses wrong, this whole ship is about to be on lockdown. The good part is that it's at least in a language she recognizes. 

She goes over the possibilities in her head. Certainly wouldn't be _Luke_ , and _Falcon_ was too many characters for the keypad. It could be _Leia_ , but she doesn't see Ben as the type to be foolish enough to have his mother's name as a passcode with General Hux always snooping around. _Han_ isn't that much of a better idea, either. It's at this moment that she realizes that she _know_ _s_ him, but doesn't know _about_ him. She has no idea what it could be, no idea what he likes, _if_ he actually likes anything at all. Briefly, she wonders if it could be _her_ name, but the whole First Order has a bounty on her head, and everyone would be forcing Ben to answer to it if the passcode was ever found out. Rey pauses. Unless...

She reaches forward and types it in with shaky fingers. _R-A-Y._

The doors open with a hiss. She gives a dry chuckle as she crosses into the room quickly, allowing the heavy door to close behind her. "Bastard," she says under her breath. 

She's in a small room, which seems to be an office. There's a desk and a chair and not much else, but the surface is completely cluttered in contrast to the rest of the room. It's covered in various papers, but it doesn't seem to be First Order reports. With a closer inspection, she realizes it's all things he must have written. 

Rey can't help herself; she reaches out, her hand touching the parchment, fingers brushing over the impeccably beautiful words he wrote. It's in a language she doesn't understand. It's too high-class for someone like her, she suspects, but her heart leaps in her chest regardless. He still had mundane hobbies. She knew he wasn't all evil, but still... he was _human_. And humans can still be saved. He might not be completely lost to her after all.

_"Rey - find it yet? We're waiting back on the ship."_

Poe's voice cuts through the room, the static from the bad signal filling her ears. Her comm unit is way too loud. Or this room is way too quiet. It's judging her, like it knows she's betraying the trust of its occupier. 

"Not yet. Give me a few more minutes," she murmurs into the small device, clipping it back to the belt at her waist. She was running out of time. She couldn't feel Ben through their bond, but she's almost positive he's on this ship. She couldn't risk him catching her. 

_"Copy!"_

With a deep breath, she steps forward towards a door, and it slides open for her. The next room lights up once it notices a human presence and she freezes when she takes a hesitant step inside. _His bedroom_. 

It was simple. Far more simple than she expected from him; someone who was an actual prince and the last man alive to carry the Skywalker blood. There was a bed large enough to fit his tall frame, a spot for meditation, an archway leading to what she suspects is a refresher, and a nook full of various cloaks and tunics. It wasn't anything special, but it was undeniably nicer than any Resistance bunk she ever had the fortune of staying in. The lamps on the bedside tables alone could feed her for a year back on Jakku. And the bed does look comfortable... Rey pauses a second, making herself laugh inwardly at the thought of her laying down for a nap. The face on Ben's face alone once he finds her would be one for the ages. 

_Wouldn't that be a treat,_ she thinks.

She takes a lap around the room against her better judgment, her fingertips dragging over the soft bedding, reaching out to grab the sleeve of one of his various tunics hanging. She pulls it close to her face, breathing him in. Her heart sinks when she catches his familiar scent. It's something she can't quite name, can't quite decipher, but if she had the choice, she'd spend the rest of her days enveloped in it. A tiny part of her, the darkness Luke was so afraid of, reminds her that she had a choice a year ago. This could have been _her_ room, too. She could have chosen differently. Maybe Ben wouldn't hate her now if she did. 

She forces her mind to compartmentalize, choosing to focus on the mission once more. She knows she could never live with serving the dark side, regardless of if Ben would be the center of her life or not. Right now, at this moment, she needs to find the holocron. She knows it's here _somewhere;_ Ben wouldn't trust it to be anywhere else, but she can no longer feel the dark pull of it call out to her like it did when they first arrived. No, something else is surrounding her now. Something familiar...

She senses his presence a second too late.

Rey backs into him, her backside colliding with his chest, and she whirls around in shock to face him. Her mouth instantly opens to explain her presence in his quarters, but words are quickly escaping her. 

She can't see his eyes behind the mask, but she can feel them narrow at her. "I guess it's time to get new security," he says passively, his faux tone of boredom evident even through the electronic cloak. "Since they _clearly_ can't do their job." 

"I-" she stammers out, instinctively taking a step away from him, begging the blush currently crawling up the back of her neck to cease. _Busted._ "Ben, I-"

"What do you think you're doing?" He asks her, negating her step back with a step forward of his own. "Other than breaking and entering, of course." 

Her face burns in embarrassment. "On a mission," is all she can give him, unable to meet his gaze. Or what she _thinks_ is his gaze.

"And here I thought you were here for me." He's sarcastic and he's teasing her, and the jumbled voice from the mask is making her blood begin to boil. 

"Take it off," she says, probably a bit too aggressively, gesturing to the mask. She hates it. She _hates_ it. It reminds her of how scared she was of him in the forest on Takodana, when he froze every muscle in her body and made her think he was going to kill her. She didn't want to feel that way about him anymore. 

"You sneak onto _my_ ship and kill _my_ men, and now you try to tell me what to do in _my_ quarters?" His voice doesn't _sound_ like he's angry with her, but his body language says otherwise. He's pacing in front of her slowly like a predator, his hand clutching his lightsaber a bit too tightly. "Sounds a bit backward, doesn't it, Rey?"

She purses her lips at the mask saying her name. She wants to force it off his head and smash it into a million pieces as he did once before. "I don't want a fight," she levels with him, and her eyes flit to the lightsaber ready in his hands. "The First Order isn't even our main concern anymore."

He cocks his head at her condescendingly. "And why is that?" 

She frowns as she unclips her lightsaber from her belt, knowing this is only going to go down as it always does, ending in a fight that neither can finish. "Don't act naive. You know even more than I do about Palpatine." 

"Who's currently stuck in the Unknown Regions," he informs her, and her eyes grow wide. "So he's not my main concern right now. You and your friends are." 

Rey _knows_ Ben won't kill her, and he knows that she knows. He had multiple chances to finish her but could never actually do it. But Finn and Poe? Most likely fair game in his eyes. 

"Leave them out of this," she finds herself trying to reason with him, her voice more pleading than she intended. "I didn't even want them to come." 

"And they did anyway." Even though Rey can't see his face, she can sense that he's smirking. "I guess they're reckless _and_ stupid." 

"At least I have people who would travel the galaxy for me," she shoots back.

 _"You_ did. Remember?"

Her cheeks burn at his reminder. She didn't want to think of that, of how she left Luke in a fit of rage and wasted no time getting to Ben. She didn't need to be reminded about how _sure_ she was when she thought she could save him. Could be the beacon of light in his life. But you can't save someone who doesn't want to saved. 

"Shut up," is all she can say.

 _She's running out of time_. 

It's quickly becoming evident that she's going to have to fight her way out of this, and so she ignites her lightsaber and swings at him before she loses her nerve. He blocks her easily as if he were suspecting it, parrying with just as much confidence. 

Rey is working hard, keeping her grip on the saber firm as she also tries to ward him off inside her head. He knew everything about her; he knew her next move before she even makes it. It wasn't fair. 

She doesn't even realize that they pass through another doorway before she finally spots a misstep in his maneuvers. He lunges instead of pulling back, and she gets her lightsaber underneath one of the crossguards, pulling it up and away from him. But their sabers come into contact with something, and it's breaking into a thousand pieces before she can even turn to look at what it was.

Ben instantly powers off his weapon, staring down at whatever was scattered across the floor. She swallows, noticing the burnt metal and what's left of the mouthpiece. _Darth Vader's helmet_. 

He's clearly done with fighting, and so she clips her lightsaber back to her belt, turning to face him. "Ben... I'm- I didn't mean to," she finally stutters out, watching him stand motionless. "I know you used that to talk to him, and-"

"It wasn't him."

She blinks. "What do you mean?"

"It wasn't _him_ _,"_ he repeats, his voice sharper. He reaches up and finally removes his heavy mask, dropping it to the floor carelessly. His face was flushed but he was just as handsome, his hair longer than she remembers. "It was never him. It was Palpatine. So I guess this is for the best."

Rey's brows draw together in confusion. That can't be true. She's been inside his head enough to know that it was _Vader_ talking to him. Or, at least, Darth Vader's voice. Was it truly Palpatine? "But I thought... Snoke-"

"Snoke was Palpatine, too," he interjects, hanging his head. "It was him this whole time. Before I was even born, he was feeding me this bullshit."

Her heart begins to break for him. She feels guilty. He asked her to join him because _Palpatine_ was telling him it was the right choice, and knowing nothing different, he listened. If Rey knew... maybe things could have been different. Maybe she could have helped him. 

"But don't you see, Ben? The First Order, the Resistance... they can all wait. If Palpatine wins, there won't be anything left to fight over at all." Rey reaches out to grip his arm; he flinches but doesn't move away. "We _have_ to stop him."

"What do you suggest we do?" He asks her, a bit arrogantly, turning to look down at her. "Go in there, lightsabers blazing? Already tried it, and it didn't work." 

She frowns at him. "Why didn't you tell me? I could have gone with you."

He looks at her once more before he backs away, far enough from her for her hand to drop from his arm. "And tell you what? The man that wants my whole bloodline dead is trying to kill me, too? I don't think you'd jump to help." He pauses. "Plus, you closed off the bond. And I wasn't about to walk through the center of a Resistance base to find you."

"That's not true," she softly reminds him. 

And it wasn't. She let him in on occasion. The night his mom died, she was so wracked with guilt, she finally decided to reach out to him. And he knew, of course, he knew. It was the first time she had seen him cry real tears, and she remembers just how tightly he gripped her sides when she hugged him to her in her tiny Resistance bunk cot. She didn't sleep at all that night, only played with his hair or connected his freckles with her fingers, but the connection was severed once he woke up, giving her no time to ask about it.

And again, when she came to the haunting realization that he was the only one left in the whole galaxy who _actually_ understood her. She was lonely and ashamed, but he whispered nothing but encouragement in her ears, cupping her face, kissing her until her lips were numb and bruised. She needed to hate him, but she never felt more wanted.

"That's different," he tells her, but his voice is just a hint softer. "Rey, I-"

_"Rey, how's it coming? We need to leave!"_

They both freeze, and Ben's eyes go straight to the device on her hip. "Poe Dameron?" He scoffs, but she can see the disappointment of their moment being ruined behind his eyes. _"That's_ the best you can do?"

She eyes him, raising the commlink to her mouth. "I need a few more minutes - trust me," is all she says before reattaching it to her belt. "He took over for your mom," she says to Ben, who looks like he's about to seethe. "I think he does a good job." 

"He doesn't _deserve_ it," he tells her through his teeth. "He doesn't deserve that legacy."

Rey gives him a confused look at his word choice, but before she can question him, Poe's voice interrupts them again.

 _"We can afford a few more minutes. But we were_ supposed _to be on a no-kill mission, and that kind of went south already. We can't afford any more deaths."_

He tilts his head in the direction of the door. "Go," he tells her, his voice devoid of any trickery or lie. "If you go through the back wing, no one will find you before you reach the hangar." 

She has half a mind to take his advice and slip by unscathed by him _or_ a stormtrooper, but she didn't even complete the mission. And, if she's being honest, she didn't _want_ to leave. Her heart already ached at the thought and she hasn't even left the room yet.

Rey shakes her head at him. "No." 

His eyebrows shoot up at her protest. _"No?_ Do you _want_ to fight your way out of here, then?" 

"I'm not leaving," she clarifies, stepping closer. Her hands itch to touch him. It's been so long. She wonders if his hair is just as soft now as it was a few months ago. "I don't want to." 

He eyes her. "I could arrest you, if that's what you want," he deadpans. "Because I'm not seeing why else you'd willingly choose to stay on an enemy ship."

Rey fights the urge to roll her eyes as a blush falls across her freckled cheeks. She steels her nerves before reaching up, grabbing fistfuls of his cape, pulling him closer. "I'm here because I'm waiting for you to _kiss_ me already, Ben Solo." 

He doesn't protest; he barely does much of anything at all before gloved hands are delicately holding her face. He leans down at the same time she cranes her neck and they're kissing, his lips just as soft and full as she remembers. But it's not through the Force this time, it's in _person_ , and everything is heightened. He feels _real_ , like she's not trying to catch a ghost between her fingertips. Her hands go to wrap around his neck, and he drops one to her waist, pulling her against him. 

_"Rey!"_ Poe's voice crackled back to life, and she swears she hears Ben actually _growl_ against her mouth. 

"Ignore it," he murmurs against her lips before deepening the kiss. Her knees begin to give out, and so his arm around her waist only tightens, sending shivers up her spine.

 _"Rey, we need to go_ now!"

Hastily, he reaches for her belt, breaking the kiss to hold up the commlink in front of her face. "You tell him to shut the hell up," he tells her, his eyes impossibly dark. "Or _I_ will. In person." 

She flushes at his words, and so she grabs the device out of his hands, holding it up to speak into it. "Just... just leave without me. I got held up, and I can't make it back in time. Just get back to the base, and I promise I'll meet you there." 

Ben doesn't even give Poe any time to respond, because he yanks the tiny contraption from her hand, turning it off before dropping it to the floor. "Last chance," he warns, eyeing her. "You can still make it if you hurry."

And honestly, she should. Making out with the Supreme Leader is probably considered treason somewhere, and the vast majority of the Resistance wouldn't understand what they had; certainly not Poe or Finn. But warmth is blooming in her chest, her skin burns from where he touched her, and she feels uneven on her feet. Even _if_ she left right now... they'd know what she was doing as soon as they saw her in this state. So why not enjoy it?

She pulls him back to her and kisses him once again. His hands go lower, grabbing the backs of her thighs, hoisting her up. With a slight gasp, she wraps her legs around his waist, allowing him to take her wherever the hell he wanted to take her. He could throw her out the airlock for all she cares, just as long as he kisses her until she suffocates. 

He lowers her softly onto what she realizes is his bed, and her arms tighten around his neck greedily. They've been here a handful of times through the Force, and it left her nerve endings singing for days. She can only imagine how all of this will feel in person.

He hovers over her but he's barely touching her, a hand on her waist, the other near her head pressing into the bed. She lets out a quiet whine but he ignores her, probably on purpose. _She hates him._ She needs more. 

"You know," she starts when his lips go to her jaw, a hand ghosting up the inside of her clothed thigh. He remembers how she likes him touching her there. "I probably don't have much time. We should speed this up."

He grunts. "I'll get you back to your _friends_ eventually."

A thought goes through her, a daydream where she and Ben walk through the Resistance base, everyone staring at them, gobsmacked. She flushes at the thought. _They'd hate her, too._ "Orrrr I could just steal your TIE? They insure those things, right?"

He chuckles against her cheek. "Nice try. But not happening."

She lets out a huff when his hands go to remove her belt, letting it drop to the floor beside the bed. "I've always wanted to fly it," she breathes as she stares at the ceiling, lifting her arms when prompted so he can remove her tunic and wraps. "X-wings aren't as fun. And they can't spin nearly as fast." 

He pinches the inside of her thigh once her pants are removed, and she lifts herself up with a jolt to look at him, her skin on fire as she tries to frown at him. "Didn't you say you were in a hurry?" He asks, biting the inside of his cheek to hide a smirk.

Rey opens her mouth to respond before closing it again, choosing to roll her eyes at him instead. He lets out a chuckle, reaching behind him to pull his thick tunic over his head. Instantly, she reaches out for him, digging her fingers into broad shoulders as she pulls him back down on top of her. Her fingers hook into the waistband of his pants, and he allows her to pull them down to his knees, forcing them the rest of the way down himself.

"I wish you were here with me," he murmurs into her neck when she begins to shiver with anticipation. His words were so broad. As a hand slides up her stomach to her breast, she knew what he meant. 

"I'm here now," she breathes out to the ceiling, tugging at his hair in her hands. It's the best she can offer him, and she doesn't trust herself to say anything more. She's putty in his hands. At this moment, he could convince her to agree to anything, even if that anything is the dark side. And she thinks he realizes this, because that's the last she hears of it.

Ben grips her jaw and kisses her hard as he pushes into her, and she writhes against him. Rey tries to get him impossibly closer, hitching her knee higher up his hip as he begins to thrust. Her fingers dig into his shoulders as she turns her head to whimper into his hair. Every muscle under her hands is impossibly tight as he dips his head to press kisses into her shoulder. 

She's fucked. She is _so_ fucked. This is way better than it is through the Force. That? That was a sliver of dull color through the dark. Now, everything was technicolor; every part of him positively vibrant. She can't stop shaking in his arms. Her fingers are buzzing as her nails dig into his skin greedily. There's no way she can let him slip through her fingers again, and go back to the Resistance like this isn't happening right now. _There's no way_. 

His fingers find her clit with a particularly hard thrust, and she realizes as she lets out a moan that he was probably reading her conflicting thoughts. But then his teeth press into her skin at her shoulder and the hand on her center begins to move, and suddenly she has no thoughts of the Resistance at all. 

"Ben," she gasps out, waves of pleasure beginning to lick at her insides. His fingers and his thrusts only increase in speed and she groans. _"Ben."_

He grips her body harder, his hand relentless on her core when she can't hold her orgasm at bay any longer. She lets out a long whine as her thighs around him open even wider, quite never able to catch her breath as her fingers pull on his hair tight. _So_ much better than doing this through the Force.

Ben lets out a guttural moan into her hair when he finishes, the hands on her hips squeezing her hard. He's probably bruising her, but neither could give any less of a damn. He kisses her chest as his breathing returns to normal before beginning to part from her, making her frown.

It's quiet and she's blushing. When this usually happens, one of them can just cut the connection off and pretend like it _didn't_. This time, she's on his First Order ship, in person. _On his bed_. Now that she got that out of her system, that high she had on him is now gone, and she raises a hand to her chest out of instinct, feeling self-conscious.

He's already reaching for his pants when he notices. "Here," he murmurs, grabbing her shirt from the tiled floor, tossing it to her. She's grateful as she slips it on, reaching for her belt and pants next. He watches her from his seat on the bed as she toes back into her shoes. "So," she sighs, turning to face him. "What ship do you want me to steal?"

Ben has to press his lips together in order to prevent any sort of smile from gracing her lips. "You're not stealing a ship," he tells her, holding an arm out for her. She goes to him easily, allowing him to pull her onto his lap. It was strange. She felt the safest in the arms of the most dangerous man in the galaxy. 

"Fine," she sighs, falling into his chest dramatically. "I suppose _you_ can just take me back. I'm sure you wouldn't be able to block _all_ the blasters pointed at your head."

He thinks for a minute as a hand trails up her spine. _Fair point_. "Just... take a TIE, I guess," he tells her, reaching up to rub at his forehead. She's going to be the death of him. _"Not_ _mine,_ though." 

She widens her eyes innocently. "I wasn't actually going to take _yours_. _"_

"Before I forget, here," he murmurs lowly, changing the subject, reaching around her to the table by his bed, reaching into the drawer. He pulls out the pyramidal holocron, dropping it into her hand. It's heavier than she imagined it to be. She bounces it between her hands as he watches her closely. "I'm guessing this is what you were after."

"Giving a First Order weapon to the Resistance?" She teases him, gazing up at him through her lashes, trying her hardest not to smile. "Not very _dark side_ of you, Ben."

His lips press into a thin line, but she doesn't miss how the tips of his ears peeking through his dark hair redden. "You need to get back to them," he tells her, leaning in to kiss her forehead. She closes her eyes. "Before I decide to keep you here forever." 

It's her turn to blush, but she pulls him closer with her free hand, pressing her lips to his once more. Maybe she could come up with an excuse to go on another undercover First Order mission again soon. She needed to see him again.

With one last kiss, she parts from him with finality, slipping out the door to his chambers before either of them can change her mind. Once she knows the hall is clear, she slinks around in the shadows, for once actually blending in with the walls. She enjoyed the white of the new ship. It was brighter. Happier. She wonders briefly if Ben had any say in it.

There's not exactly a clear path to one of the TIEs on the loading dock, but there _is_ one to Ben's. With a wicked smile, she makes a break for it, jumping into the cockpit and lowering the airlock before anyone can notice her. She powers the ship up, and it comes to life around her. When she inhales, she notices that it smells like him. She hopes she can enjoy piloting it before Ben inevitably forces her to bring it back. 

She can't help but grin wildly once Ben senses her absolute glee, but she jumps into hyperspace before he can even step a foot towards the hangar to stop her. 

_Sucker_.


End file.
